sacredchao (sacred_chao) wrote,
sacredchao
sacred_chao

  • Mood:

I am

Today I told those with whom I work most closely my name.
I outlined briefly why the old name is gone.

Before I left work at the end of my shift I donned the bra I bought experimentally and which takes my breasts from barely there to definitely there.
I walked out of the building with my definite breasts and my studs in my ears and my coat with its feminine cut and my weight shifting at my hips.
I don't for one second think I looked like a woman but I don't think I looked like a man either.

I caught the train out to Brunswick.
I wandered Sydney Rd and bought excellent falafel for dinner.
I danced with friends and with strangers who would not care about the dissonances of my body nor how I carried it.
I caught the train home.

I cried walking home from the station.
I cried with a little pride and happiness.
I cried with a little fear and confusion.
I cried with the oestrogen that floods my body and changes me and makes me a little crazy.

I reclaimed myself a little today.
I am a little more whole.
I'm still crying and I'm not sure why.

Oh but I will be me and I will be mine and I will make myself as I see fit.
Tags: transgender
Subscribe
  • Post a new comment

    Error

    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.
  • 4 comments